Sleep

Sleep and I have always had a love-hate relationship.  I started sleeping through the night at something like three months old (which, for those of you non-baby-lovers out there, is unusually early), and part of me thinks sometimes that perhaps it was because I really just loved sleep more than food.  Then, of course, throughout my early childhood I fought the bedtime thing nightly, but that's normal I'm pretty sure.

When I was sick sick, I avoided sleep at all costs.  I don't really know why, but I understood it at the time and got defensive when people close to me asked me to sleep.  Now that I think of it, I think it was because I wanted complete control over myself and succumbing to the human need to sleep is definitely not a display of self-control (don't bother telling me how stupid that sounds).

About a year ago, a crisis counselor told my family (at a time I was not even in crisis, I might add) that I should be going to bed at 10 because sleep lowers the likelihood of depression.  And, of course, my  overprotective father and step-mother immediately began enforcing the rule and still do, even though I will have complete control over when I go to sleep in less than six months.  But it has done the opposite of lowering the likelihood of depression for me. I simply don't have enough time to get everything done (maybe it's because I'm really busy, or because my school gives an unusual amount of homework, or because I'm a slacker, I don't know) and am extremely stressed out trying to get to bed by 10 every night.  This rule has caused me nothing but stress, and I'm not happy about it.

In my quest to learn to be aware of my body and to get to know it, I've recently discovered that I am one of those unlucky people that truly needs 9-10 hours of sleep every night in order to be able to fully function.  This is unfortunate, because it means I would actually have to go to bed at 8:30 every night.  This, of course, is unrealistic and impossible and would only stress me out about schoolwork even more than I already am.  But when I can't fully function, as is usually the case now, I don't get work done efficiently and am stressed and usually end up staying up late to get it all done...continuing the vicious cycle.

You can't win.

A Happy Doula

A doula is happy when she goes to the home of a client who deeply desires a fully natural birth, and the  powerful mama prints out her birth plan and tells her doula, smiling, that her OB signed off on it without an issue.

The happy doula then remembers that wonderful things do happen in the world and there are marvelous care providers out there who respect their patients' decisions.  And she breathes a sigh of relief, knowing that this natural hospital birth will go down without a fight (unless it truly need not be natural).

You know, how birth is supposed to be.  No fighting.  Just, birth.

This girl is a happy doula tonight.

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New Year

2012.  The year I finally got through without getting sick.  The year I discovered the wonders of natural birth and real food (on separate occasions).  The year I first called myself a doula and witnessed my first live birth.  The year I started caring about breastfeeding, alternative health, and aromatherapy.  The year I undertook a really big project called Lutzes of Love.  The year I finally met Mari face-to-face.  The year Lilly was born and grew up to the point of walking across the living room.  The year I lived with the Davis's for a week.  The year Marieka graduated.  The year I went to prom for the first time.  The year the open juvenile team crumbled.  The year I did some drama.  The year I joined Madrigal.  The year I started making stuff for mommies and babies and had the idea of selling that stuff.  The year I went to Barahona for the third time.  The year I cried a lot, but that happens every year.  The year I decided I want to go to Liberty, which I never thought would happen.  The year I turned 17.  The year I became a senior.  The year that is now over.

2013.  The year I figured out was my graduation year in third grade and it seemed so abstract and far away, like 2024 is now.  The year I've been holding onto for so many things.  The year I become an adult, which will hopefully mean it's also the year I get my first tattoo and do other things by my choice only.  The year I go to The Farm.  The year I eat more good food, become a good person, and do good for the world.  The year I figure out what the heck to do with my life and start college.  The year I can finally feel good about myself because this is the year I've been waiting for forever and I can become something.  The year my life begins.

Essential Oil Recipe: Woodsy Labor Blend

Is it just me, or do other doulas and midwives ever get mamas who just aren't relaxed by the aromas of lavender, jasmine, and vanilla? They feel more at ease by "woodsy" scents and the smells of cooking herbs. It's always important to know ahead of time what scents your client does and does not like and feel relaxed by if you are planning to use aromatherapy for her labor. Then you can even prepare a special blend just for her, and if she's like one of those woodsy-scent-lovers I just mentioned, this Woodsy Labor Blend will be perfect! 

Woodsy Labor Blend

Ingredients:

•  42 drops Ylang Ylang (Shh, don't tell - it's the secret ingredient!)
• 120 drops Pine
• 100 drops Sage
• 20 drops Sweet Basil (Trust me. It does the trick.)

Instructions:

Add essential oils to glass mixing bottle. Close the bottle and swirl it a few times. Lightly diffuse into the labor room for all your outdoorswoman mamas!

This recipe will fill a 30 ml bottle about a third of the way full - most likely all you'll need and more for one woman's birth. But you can for sure multiply the recipe if you want to yield more of the blend!

Also, be sure to wash your hands after preparing this blend (and anytime after using essential oils). The oils will undoubtedly get on your hands, even if you don't realize it, and consequently get on everything you touch after that - not a good thing!

Jesus, I am in complete awe of You this Christmas.

Thank You for humbling Yourself to the point of birth.

So many people talk about how Christmas is really about how You came for the purpose of humbling yourself to the point of death, and how amazing that is. And that is so true. But I am infinitely more amazed at You humbling Yourself to the form of a baby. 

I can't believe that You, the Son of the Most High God, started out as one cell - just like me. And You spent the first ten months of Your life (give or take) inside a bag of amniotic fluid, which was inside the uterus of a poor teenage girl. And You got Your nutrients from a placenta, through an umbilical cord. And You kicked Your young mommy from the inside and made her have to pee a lot, but You also gave her a big, beautiful belly with that gorgeous navel stretched to its max. She probably had at least some of the common pregnancy symptoms - morning sickness, sore boobs, mood swings, bloating, stretch marks, swelling, cravings, hypersensitivity to smell, fatigue, leaky boobs, weight gain. But I bet she worked really hard while You were growing inside of her. And it's likely she had the nesting instinct while journeying to Bethlehem - I don't know how that would have manifested itself, but I know it probably happened.

And then Your body signaled to Your Mommy's body (two separate entities, yet physically attached) that it was time for her to birth You. So maybe her water broke, maybe she lost her mucus plug. Contractions got started up. All while just getting into Bethlehem.

And You, the Savior of the world, succumbed to the weight of these contractions. Each surge brought You further down in Your mommy's womb, and then, her pelvis. Her movements helped you to get in the perfect position for Your birth. She moaned, swayed, breathed, and labored. According to today's primip stats, this could have lasted anywhere from 12-24 hours, but we really have no idea.

And then it was time for You to be born. You humbled Yourself right down to squeezing through a birth canal. Your naked mommy probably hollered some around this time, and maybe even cussed (you know, since she was sinful and everything). She probably pooped, too. We don't truly know where this happened, but it was somewhere with animals around, we know that. Maybe a cave, maybe a field. Nothing glamorous by any stretch. There was no inflatable birthing tub, no Hypnobabies CD, no epidural. But your mommy managed.

And Your head appeared and Your mommy vocalized louder at the ring of fire, and in one holy moment, You entered the world. Through a vagina. Covered in blood, amniotic fluid, vernix, and maybe even meconium. You. The King Jesus. 

And Your midwife probably caught Your naked body (or maybe Your daddy, or maybe even Your mommy), and placed You on Your mommy's chest. And that same bogus oxytocin thing happened, the same one that happens with every mommy and baby. And You screamed and cried to signal to everyone that You were alive. And You rooted, just like any other newborn, and eventually found Your mommy's breast, and sucked a marble-sized portion of colostrum. After that, Your mommy placed You in a feeding trough - yes, a feeding trough - doesn't sound as pretty as "manger," does it? And that is where you laid.

This kind of thing happens every day. Mommies grow babies and go into labor and give birth through this amazing process. But it happened to You, too. That's what blows my mind.

There are so many things I don't understand about Christmas. How God incarnate could be a fetus and then a newborn dependent on His mother for everything, I can't explain. But You did it.

And that's what we celebrate on Christmas. Every believer - the midwife and doula believers and the Christians who had three c-sections and the sons and daughters of God who just (wrongly) think that birth is weird, gross, and improper - we all come together and celebrate it. Birth. But not just any birth. YOUR birth.

So next time I hold a newborn baby, I'm going to think of You. I've certainly done it before, and have never been able to wrap my mind around it. I probably never will be. But I like imagining You as one of those babies that I hold in my arms, sometimes. You were probably cute, too. <3

I want to have a natural birth, but am planning to have my baby in a hospital. What should I do?

As new of a doula as I am, I get this question a lot - whether it be from clients or from pregnant friends who for whatever reason have decided to go the natural route. I got this question from a friend in a Facebook message today, and decided to edit my response slightly to offer to anyone who may be in this situation!

First of all, congratulations on the life growing inside of you and your decision to have a natural birth! Birth is freakin' awesome and will change you in more ways than one. And your decision to have a hospital birth is just as valid and special! Contrary to popular belief, it IS possible to have a natural hospital birth, and there are some important things to do in order to increase your chances.

1. Get your hands on The Business of Being Born, if you haven't already. It is a wonderful documentary that will really confirm your desire to go natural. Here's the website and you can get the movie on Netflix or Amazon.

2. Consider getting a doula. A common misconception is that doulas only do home birth, but that couldn't be further from the truth - in fact, most doulas do most of their work in hospitals! Your doula will meet with you and your partner a few times before birth to build a relationship with you, learn how to support you, and help you sort through all the pregnancy, birth, postpartum, breastfeeding, and parenting (and other) worries. Then she'll join you in labor and offer you emotional support and physical comfort. Also, a big part of her job will be to make sure that your wishes for your birth are carried out whenever possible. She will NOT speak for you, offer medical advice, or do anything clinical (and if she says she will or does it that's a big red flag), but will help you to find your voice in pregnancy and birth and will make sure you are making informed decisions on every aspect of your care. I personally think that everyone should have a doula, whether they are planning a natural birth or not, but they are so especially important when planning a natural birth. If you have any questions about doulas or need recommendations for ones in your area, feel free to ask me. :)

4. Develop a birth plan. If you choose to hire a doula, she will help you with this. I recommend it be as short as possible while still making your wishes known - I usually have my clients do a one-pager with a "Yes, please" column and a "No, thanks" column. Each column has bullet points such as "Dimmed lights in my hospital room," "Freedom to move, eat, and drink," or "Skin-to-skin contact immediately after birth." Your "yes, please" column should have a lot more than the "no, thanks" column - whenever possible turn a negative into a positive. For example, your "Continuous monitoring" in the "no, thanks" column can easily be changed to "Intermittent monitoring" in the "yes, please" column, and etc. Give your birth plan to your doula and your care provider as soon as it's finalized, and discuss it with your care provider to get a gauge of his/her thoughts on it.

5. Read these books:

• Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin is written by the "pioneer of modern midwifery" and is just chock full of awesome stuff. Warning/disclaimer: I don't fully endorse everything in the book, and a lot of it is pretty darn crunchy, so be prepared if that has a possibility of catching you off guard. But it's still REALLY valuable and worthwhile to read.
• Natural Hospital Birth: The Best of Both Worlds by Cynthia Gabriel will give you lots of tips on how to have the greatest possibility of the natural birth that you want in a hospital setting.
• Your Best Birth by Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein is written by the creators of The Business of Being Born and will help you think through all the possible considerations of interventions in your labor. Your doula will do this too, but sometimes it's helpful to have it all in one book.
• The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin will help your partner prepare for the big day by learning about your labor and how to support you in it.

6. Most importantly, remember the sacredness of this journey and that your body was designed to do it. This doesn't mean that you are perfect and won't need intervention, but don't believe for a second that you definitely WILL need intervention either. Whatever the outcome is, you will almost certainly be warmly greeted by a cute, squishy, suckling little baby at the end of it all, so look forward to that as much as you can!